it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
