I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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