it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
