is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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