so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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