I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
