For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
