the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
