i just made my gag reflex go away.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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