I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
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