I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
