rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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