Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
All I want is dick and wine.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize
