I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
