i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Randomize
