I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
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