i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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