Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
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I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
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ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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