The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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