I wannas sexs uuuuu
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
