Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
