i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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