He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
