i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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