Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize