Quick, to the slutcave!
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Just invented taco cereal.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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