They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
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