You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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