i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
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