you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
