I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
