Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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