another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize