he shaved USA in his pubs
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
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Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
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You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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