The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Bang-toberfest begins!!
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Randomize
