It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Randomize
