I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize