I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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