I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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