I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Randomize
