At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
ttyl tear gas
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
