She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
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