You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
We are two peas in an std pod
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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