I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
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Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
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The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
he just fucked me for my cheese.
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