I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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