She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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