i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
