the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
