so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize