now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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