I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
