Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
