I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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