Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
