Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
