one two three fourrrrnication!
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Randomize
