It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
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the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
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he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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