ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
